Lies
by BringOnTheWonder1997
Summary: First fanfiction. He knew that lies hurt. Perhaps that's why he could never bring himself to lie to her.
1. Lies

He knew that lies hurt. Perhaps that why he could never bring himself to lie to her.

He'd twist the truth – wrap up the little compliments into insults (_you look beautiful – considering you're human_) – and sometimes he wouldn't – **couldn't** – say anything.

For a long time he didn't know why he couldn't lie to her and by the time he'd worked it out it was too late, far too late. He knew then that the lies that hurt the most weren't the ones made out of either malice or goodwill; but the ones you didn't know you were making.

_"How long are you going to stay with me?"_

_"Forever."_


	2. Truth

And sometimes when the truth hurts all you can do is tell yourself a lie.

Sometimes you tell yourself it will get better.

And sometimes you tell yourself you never meant it in the first place.

He couldn't do either of those - not to her, not _her_. He loved her, so very, very much, more than he'd thought he was capable of in a long time and he refused to tell himself that he never loved her in the first place.

And he _knew_ it wasn't going to get better.

He wasn't trying to make it better - not anymore.

He couldn't lie to make it better.

The only option left was the truth.

_(Rose Tyler-)_

"I love you," he whispers alone in the dark.


	3. Illusions

**Please can I get just **_**one**_** review for this? It was my very first fanfiction but I didn't get any feedback for it x**

And sometimes it hurt to hear the lies and hurt to tell the truth. On those days he locked himself in the depths of the TARDIS, hiding away from Donna and Martha, pretending they weren't here.

On those days he was

_(In London ,under the London Eye, the blonde gymnast and a tongue-in-teeth grin)_

_ (In Cardiff, naked and not-naked and wishing she was)_

Or

_ (In Cardiff, '__**beautiful**__', not just for a human)_

_ (On Satellite Five, glowing gold and shining in the dark, a __**candle**__ to light the way)_

_ (On New Earth, possessed and twisted but still shining through)_

_ (In London, Muswell Hill, the pink dress and heels, faceless until he's screaming 'bring her back to me')_

He knows he's only dreaming and he knows he isn't screaming at Magpie anymore. He's screaming at the universe, the whole damn thing that took her away from him, until he can't breathe and his screams turn to sobs.

The TARDIS lets out a hum of sadness before shutting down the illusions, wanting to help her pilot but not knowing any way else how to. It seems to hurt him more though but she can't help it because for just a few minutes she sees _him_ shine through.

A tear slips down both their cheeks, real or not, and the candle is gone, alone in the darkness that is the Void.


	4. Memories

**I keep on saying to myself this is finished, but I'm not sure x Please read and review x**

What they had are just memories now, memories of a long forgotten time that he can never get back. Because not even a Time Lord can rewind Time, change it. Not even a Time Lord can stop Time in the moment.

He sees her everywhere, and sometimes that hurts more than not seeing her at all.

Sometimes he thinks he sees a flash of blonde hair swinging around the corner and thinks it will be her, just making her way off for chips.

Only, she never left him, not even for chips. They always used to go together.

Only now they can't go together, they will never go together again.

He travels on his own now.

Because this time there really is no one left.

All that is left is the memories.


	5. Pretend

He likes to pretend that one day she'll come back to him, that she'll find a way through the Void, because she's just good like that. He told Martha that, back when they were in Elizabethan England with Shakespeare.

_'Rose'd know.'_

And she would. Rose always worked out the little things, when they were too obvious for him to work out.

The London Eye, before they'd even started travelling together; Chloe Webber's mother and how scared she was of her own daughter.

She's just that good. She'll have to find a way back to him. How can't she?

She told him she loved him, and he's never heard her say that, say it and _mean_ it, before. He knows she does because he does to.

He fights to get her back and he knows that on the opposite side of the Void she is fighting as well. But the fight is hopeless, he knows that as well. He's the last of his people now and they're the only ones who can solve a problem like this.

Instead he pretends. He pretends that she'll come back to him, and knows that she wants to.

But when has the universe ever been kind to an old Time Lord like him?

They've had their Time, as so the universe has decreed. But he can pretend.


	6. Reality

He thinks he won't get her back. He's resigned himself to that fact - since when has the Universe been kind to a lonely old Time Lord? He's used to it, or at least he really should be - it's nothing new after all.

But evidently it has changed its mind, and that surprises him more than anything, more than what's happening because he's learnt by now that when it comes to Rose Tyler nothing is impossible and he really shouldn't underestimate her.

It's only surprising that the Universe is letting her. That's new.

Because even though there are Daleks attacking and the Earth has been moved and all of it signals some sort of horrific disaster that he shouldn't be at all happy about, he can't help it, because, as Donna says, Rose is back and that is _brilliant_.


	7. Stuff of Legends

**I'm sorry, but this is the absolute end now (even though I've been saying that for ages) xx**

As he's thought nothing works out how he'd wanted it to. Jackie is complaining about Pete and Mickey must resurface alive and Sarah Jane has a teenage son, who's almost as brilliant as _he_ is.

But that matters less somehow.

Because there is a clone of him, a perfect replica who is human in every other way.

And he doesn't know what to do.

Well, he does.

He just doesn't want to do it.

But he does it anyway, because in its own way, this is the Universe being kind to a tired Time Lord, the sort of second chance that is more like a seventh. The kind of chance he doesn't normally get. He's certainly never had one before.

Rose and the Metacrisis will be happy together.

And somewhere, somewhere in space and time, the Doctor and Rose are still travelling and will travel and have travelled together, all over the universe in a little blue box that's so much bigger on the inside.

They are the stuff of legends.

And it is _fantastic_.


End file.
